


Always and Forever Even In Secret

by TheWishmeister



Series: The Brothers and the Snake [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Dreams vs. Reality, Drugged Sex, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Gore, Mild torture, Oneshot, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Teacher-Student Relationship, noncon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:08:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26116222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWishmeister/pseuds/TheWishmeister
Summary: Kabuto is jealous and lashes out with his scalpels as well as his mouth. Orochimaru is satisfied that his lies always get him everything he wants, that his future body is so beautiful, that his plaything is so drugged up and beaten down that no doesn't mean no anymore, that it never did. Sasuke is guilty and betrayed, broken and regretful- utterly, utterly weak. On the worst nights he finds Naruto in his dreams.Set during the years before Shippuden. Contains lots of angst, a good bit of non-con smutty smut smut, and some cute innocent Naru/Sasu fluff in dreamland. Concrit is much appreciated, as are your opinions and ideas so feel free to leave a review and I'll respond as soon as I can!
Relationships: Orochimaru & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke/Yakushi Kabuto
Series: The Brothers and the Snake [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1903978
Comments: 5
Kudos: 37





	Always and Forever Even In Secret

_It’s undeniably pleasant walking alone, one of his favorite things to do, but he can’t remember the last time he’d been able to commit to taking a nice long walk. After a few moments, the black haired shinobi realizes that he’s not where he thought he was. He knows he should be in the forest of Otogakure, but these trees belong to the leaf village, Konoha, home; he recognizes the thick moss growing on the trunks, the marks in the bark from countless kunai and shuriken being thrown using the trees as targets._

_He used to train here, that much he remembers, but what reason would he have to be in Konoha when he left a year ago? Why would he be back? **When** did he come back? _ _He stops for a moment, runs calloused fingertips across the rough surface of an exceptionally marked up tree trunk. Coming from somewhere several feet behind he hears the crunch of a single footstep falling before there is silence once again, interrupted only by birdsong. The birds don't sing so sweetly in the sound village._

_Deciding to continue his walk he listens to the footsteps growing closer, timed to match his own, and his heart begins to thrum faster in his chest. He's not afraid, no; what he feels is pure anticipation- he hasn't atacked anyone outside of training exercises since his escape with the Sound Four and the thought of a real battle makes his blood crackle with excitement, as if his chidori was infused into his veins. He pictures the way his hand will meet the hilt of Kusanagi before a second can pass, his footsteps as he turns to direct the blade into the body behind him. Should he kill immediately, he wonders. No, it'd be better to find out who it is first. If his first move is to cut them down he'll be denying himself the pleasure of a real fight._

_He craves a real fight, like he's been craving many things: a juicy ripe tomato, a full night of sleep, someone to talk to and debate with though he won't admit that one outloud; his brain tricks him into thinking of Naruto and he has to forcefully shake his head to get the thought to go away. (Whoever this stalker is must think him to be insane.)_

_No, he does not want Naruto- that's something even his subconscious should be well aware of by now. He figures this is just something that happens when you're meant to kill someone but instead forgo the final blow. Perhaps his remorse for not finishing the task is being wrongly interpreted as remorse for his actions in general. Either way, he's sick of his mind's inability to keep Naruto out of his thoughts for more than a few minutes; he repeatedly tells himself that he should have killed the blonde idiot but for some reason the thought always makes his stomach ache. It's a ridiculous conundrum, one he hasn't found the solution to yet._

_As the footsteps creep ahead still, he decides that now is a good time to attack, with the person behind him at the perfect distance. So he draws his chokutō and turns in one fluid motion, letting the tip of the blade come to rest in the middle of his stalker's throat, watching blood bead up and dribble down lightly tanned skin._

_Naruto? Of course it just has to be..._

_"Hey, Sasuke-teme calm down. It's just me."_

_Just him. Sasuke withdraws his sword without causing any further damage, sheaths it. For some reason he feels bad for hurting the dobe standing in front of him, but no apology reaches his lips. He wasn't sorry in the Valley of the End, and he won't be now. Besides, he is an Uchiha, and the Uchiha do not give unnecessary apologies._

_"What are you doing, dead last?"_

_"Just saw you out here and thought I'd follow you." Naruto puts a hand behind his head and grins, the nick at his throat already healing. "Took you a while to notice me too. I guess I'm better at stealth than you thought, huh Sasuke?"_

_"I noticed you the whole time, idiot. But what would have been the purpose of acknowledging you when were you were so far back?"_

_"Good point," the blonde sighs, defeated._

_Sasuke gives him a smirk, satisfied that he's won again, that he's always going to win, the dead last permenantly in place behind him._

_"I'm ok with being right behind you," Naruto says suddenly and Sasuke is left wondering if he spoke his last thoughts out loud. He's sure he didn't. "If I'm right behind you, then I can watch your back. I can protect you."_

_"I don't need protecting," Sasuke snaps, a harshness that wasn't there before seeping into his voice._

_"Yeah, you do." Naruto says, no longer smiling. He sounds serious, sad even. "I hate when they hurt you, Sasuke."_

_The Uchiha looks down at his sandals, feeling the breeze pick up, causing his hair to whip around his face. He feels anger prick in his chest; how dare Naruto speak to him like this, as if he is some weak thing deserving pity? "No one **hurts** me, loser. You should be a lot more worried about yourself. Or have you forgotten what it felt like to have my arm through your chest? I'd be happy to remind you." _

_"I'm never going to forget that, not for a second, not until I die, but you and I both know you never would have done any of that without that damn mark on your shoulder." Naruto's words are sharp, biting, though his voice is calm. "I know you feel worse about what you did than I do. I know that you hate yourself. I know you regret leaving your home and I know what Orochimaru is making you do and that he's lying to you. I know about all of it and I want you to come back, teme. I wish you'd stay in Konoha with me..."_

_"What are you talking about?" Sasuke feels his skin crawl with irritation. Leave it to the dobe to say things that make no sense. "I am here with you."_

_Out of nowhere a light appears, shining from deep within the forest; Naruto turns his head to face it. Sasuke does the same before he feels the other ninja looking, no, staring back at him. Cold black eyes meet sorrowful blue._

_"It's time for you to go, teme."_

_What? Sasuke doesn't understand. "Go where? What are you talking about?"_

_"Just promise you'll come back soon, ok Sasuke?"_

_The black haired boy decides to go along with what Naruto is saying despite his lack of comprehension. "I promise. I'll... I'll come back soon."_

_Suddenly the blonde is much closer, close enough that Sasuke can feel his breath- wet warmth- causing the skin on the side of his neck to tingle but he doesn't pull away. Not even as a hand, rough from years of training, gently cups the side of his face, fingers caressing feathery strands of hair black as ink. The gentle touches cause a rush of blood to color Sasuke's face as he feels an unwanted heat begin to take hold low in his belly._

_Standing so close he realizes that he can catch every intricate note of the blonde's smell: burnt incense, salty fresh sweat, the musky scent of male hormones. He imagines moving even closer to place his nose against a smooth neck and breathing in deeply; imagines parting his lips to let his tongue draw patterns on soft skin. As soon as he realizes what he's fantasizing about he forces the image from his mind but it's too late; he's already flustered and turned on enough for his body to start reflecting his thoughts. He wonders why this is happening- he's never had this issue around his old teammate before. And surely Naruto can feel the growing hardness pressing into his stomach, but if he does notice he doesn't seem to mind. Finally, still touching Sasuke, he speaks, voice full of hope._

_"Good. And when you do, I'll watch your back so nothing can touch you. One day I'm going to bring you back with me for good, teme, and no one will ever be able to hurt you again."_

_Then Naruto is gone in an instant without the usual puff of smoke, leaving Sasuke alone in the strangely illuminated forest. The surprise makes him step backwards and he stumbles over a tree root, falling towards the earth, but instead of his spine colliding with hard dirt he continues to drop, from the familiar woods into a void of blackness that grows colder and colder still as he sinks down, down, anticipating the pain he's sure will greet him along with the ground but neither comes._

/

Sasuke jerks awake to a needle being slammed with unnecessary force into the flesh of his pelvis, directly to the left of his painfully erect, oozing penis. Still too shocked to speak and with chakra restraints binding him to an upright tilted medical table, he watches Kabuto press down the plunger of the syringe attached to the needle with his left hand, his right hand resting still on the black haired boy's cock.

With enough horror and disgust to make him dizzy, Sasuke realizes that the bespectacled medical shinobi's touch is what caused the hardness he experienced in his dream and finally he finds the ability to speak. "Get away from me!" He orders, his voice breaking despite the force behind it. For over a year now he's dealt with Orochimaru's unwanted sexual contact but for some reason being assaulted by the snake's gray haired lackey is so much more humiliating, perhaps because the man only touches him when he is unconscious, drugged or tied down with some sort of band wrapped around his head that prevents him from activating his sharingan. 

The man is smart to do so, knowing that with himself being weaker than the teenager, the Uchiha wouldn't hesitate to kill him, quickly and without thought, should he chance anything at the wrong time.

"Get away!" Sasuke repeats when his previous command draws no response. "Stop touching me. I will kill you!" He struggles against the bonds, only causing the long, thick needle that Kabuto is drawing out to snap in half, still partially buried in his skin, and he hisses in pain.

"Look what you've done." Kabuto scolds, trying to use his fingers to remove the broken portion of the needle but only managing to push it in deeper still. "As a precaution, keep your voice down, Sasuke. Lord Orochimaru demanded silence."

Irritated that he's going to need to fetch his medical tools to fix the problem the black haired boy in front of him has caused, he strokes the softening legnth one last time, noting the single bead of liquid that seeps from the slit in the head. He wipes the fluid away with an ice cold thumb, reveling in Sasuke's gasp yet frustrated that the drug he injected the boy with seems to not yet be taking effect. _Soon enough,_ he tells himself; he knows he did the calculations perfectly, made the chemical exactly to his master's specifications. Now all there is to do is wait; that and dig out this needle the stupid boy managed to break. Sighing, he leans over to grab a small scalpel, not wanting to waste his chakra to make a cut when he'll have to use it to heal one.

"No, don't." Sasuke begins to struggle again, causing the broken piece of metal in his pelvis to lodge itself even deeper. "What are you going to do?"

Kabuto pushes the young man's now completely flaccid penis to the side and out of the way, letting the blade of his scalpel hover over paper white skin. "Because of your idiotic flailing you managed to cause a portion of a needle to bury itself right here." He pokes the area with the tip of the scalpel, drawing blood. "Now I must remove it or you'll end up with a terrible infection and I don't think you want a festering wound so close to this, would you?" This time he pokes the scalpel into the side of the limp organ in his grip, drawing a pained yelp from the immobilized Uchiha. Kabuto enjoys the sound far more than he should and without thinking, drags his knife down, leaving a deep inch long cut along the boy's shaft which begins to bleed heavily, causing Sasuke to moan in pain.

Reluctantly, Kabuto withdraws his knife, but not without lengthening the cut in the boy's penis a little further. He has to fight the urge to keep cutting there, to slice this bit of the black haired teen that Orochimaru seems to enjoy so much to ribbons; the stubborn boy, his usual stoicism be damned, would be absolutely screaming then, begging for mercy.

Kabuto feels his own cock twitch in his pants but ignores this, getting to work by making an unnecessarily deep incision right along where he knows the needle to be buried. Spotting a glint of metal behind all the blood he grabs a pair of clamps to keep the skin open, then with tiny pincers, pulls the offending bit of needle from Sasuke's flesh, holding it up so that watering black eyes can see it.

"You wouldn't have been able to train with that digging into you, now would you?"

Sasuke turns his head away; Kabuto's medical experiments always go something like this, including a little or a lot of molestation, some unnecessary cuts that the medical nin claims to be on accident, and injections of a variety of different drugs Orochimaru wants tested on him. The stimulants that increase his energy and quiet the pangs of hunger in his stomach, and the chakra boosters he can't say he minds. But everything else...

Everything else seems to be of a sexual nature: a drug that caused the muscles of his rectum to completely relax for Orochimaru to insert a fist into his body, one that made his genitals ten times more sensitive and left him experiencing orgasm after painful orgasm- just two out of many that serve to haunt and humiliate him at all hours of the day. At times he'll be thinking of them during training and make a mistake, tripping over his feet while practicing a kata or miscalculating the angle of his sensei's fist.

He shakes the thoughts from his head, brought back to reality by the stinging pain between his legs beginning to decrease as Kabuto uses chakra to heal him. As the man usually leaves things, unless Orochimaru is demanding his student be fully repaired, the cuts are only partially mended, likely to split open again if he isn't carefull so he shifts his hips a bit to be sure he won't be bleeding again in seconds. When he experiences nothing more than a bit of pain he breathes in deeply.

"Can I go now?"

In the back of his mind, he still sees Naruto, wonders what his former teammate would think if he saw Sasuke like this; subdued, naked, trembling with cold and hunger and a fear he refuses to admit that he's feeling.

"Not until I get the results I'm needing."

"Results from what?" Sasuke spits, but then remembers waking up to an injection, throbbing hardness.

"Let's see." Kabuto murmurs, taking the teenager's soft penis in his hand and beginning to stroke again. This was much easier when he was asleep- the boy was hard in seconds- but now, Kabuto's touch seems to be doing nothing.

Sasuke feels a look of smug satisfaction settle onto his face. _My body is not yours,_ he thinks, but then to his surprise Kabuto leans forward, using his tongue to lift the soft few inches into his mouth and beginning to suck. Of course, Sasuke's blood starts moving then; when the silver haired man pulls back after a few minutes of torturous sucking, the black haired boy's hips buck forward into the retreating mouth. The far too familiar pull in his testicles and lower stomach had started; he'd been seconds away from cumming and now he finds himself desperate for the release he was teased with.

"What the hell are you doing? Why are you doing this?" He moans behind clenched teeth as Kabuto uses a cloth to wipe away saliva and the blood seeping from the reopened cut on his erection, dabbing up the dribble of pre-cum that follows his touch.

"Much better but I think you need another injection. These are less than satisfactory results."

Sasuke struggles in his bonds again, the frustration almost enough to bring tears to his eyes as he watches Kabuto draw up liquid from a small vial into a new syringe. Again, with even more force than the last time, the needle is stabbed into a spot near the base of his erection. This time he doesn't move, allowing for it to be smoothly pulled out.

"Let's wait a few minutes, to allow it to take effect. You'll remember being given a similar drug when you first arrive in Sound."

"You're just going to ignore where you sliced me open?" He asks, incredulous.

"Trust me, in a few minutes you won't even notice it."

It takes less than a single minute for Sasuke to feel a difference; the typical ache of his erect penis becomes almost intollerably painful, like the veins are about to burst, the still bleeding cut indeed forgotten. It's similar to the drug that increased his sensitivity but this time the feeling burns and he feels his entire body go hot, sweat beading on his face.

Kabuto smirks at the bound boy in front of him, fingers twitching, those large dark eyes of his wide and frantic, a dark flush coloring his normally white cheeks.

"What..." He pants. "What did you do to me?

Kabuto lowers his eyes to the hard cock pointing at him, the entire head slick with wetness, beginning to drip. He reaches out to stroke the tip, just a light touch, and receives another closed mouth moan in response, watching as fluid dribbles forth, a clear stream that splatters on the floor. Standing, Kabuto slides his hand up and down the slick organ until the boy cums, an excessive amount of semen spurting out that the medical nin directs up onto his belly and chest. Yes, this is exactly what Lord Orochimaru wanted. Wiping the fluid from his hands first and then Sasuke's bony chest, Kabuto ignores the now visibly trembling boy in front of him and goes to inform his master of his success.

When he returns there's a satisfied grin stretched across on his pallid face, the florescent light from the ceiling glinting off his glasses and making him look completely evil as he prepares yet another injection.

"No, no more," Sasuke pleads, aware of how pathetic he sounds and utterly hating himself for it. "Just let me go."

"You know I can't do that, Sasuke, even if I wanted to," Kabuto responds with a smile so fake the black haired boy wishes he could get an arm free in order to break the man's jaw. "And we both know how much I don't want to. Anyway, this is something else.... Something to make you more, pliable, more... Pleasant."

As he approaches the Uchiha and bringing the needle up to his neck the boy tenses up.

"Stop, don't you dare. Get that away from me, now," he growls.

Kabuto grips his chin with more force than necessary- always meaner than necessary to this arrogant, beautiful child always stealing his master's attention.

"This is meant to go into a vein, but if you keep moving like that I could nick an artery, and I believe we both knows what happens then." Kabuto's threat seems to succeed as the squirming boy goes still and allows the medic to slide the needle into a vein in his neck, pressing the plunger down to send the drug sweeping through his circulatory system.

Sasuke coughs, his body suddenly feeling limp and a fogginess fills his skull, calms his breathing. When he's unfastened from the table he doesn't fight back, simply falling like a loosely stuffed cloth doll into the older male's arms. A bunched up piece of rough fabric is shoved into his hand, his hand moved to hold it beneath his heavily leaking, bloody penis.

"Keep that there," Kabuto orders,"unless you wish to spend tomorrow on your hands and knees cleaning the floors in the corridor.

Sasuke grunts in acknowledgment, allowing the medic to drag him to Orochimaru's chambers. He tells himself this is in exchange for power even though he knows that's a lie, but it comforts him in his weakness, in the face of the fact that he's no where near the strength he so desperately craves.He knows his taijutsu has improved in leaps and bounds, but taijutsu is not what will allow him to defeat his brother. His genjutsu still lags far behind Itachi, and though he's learned dozens if not hundreds of new ninjutsu techniques, he's far from mastery, let alone even the proficiency he needs to use them in combat. And instead of training, he gets... this: starved and fucked and experimented on.

In a year he's turned 14, grown a few inches taller, and been raped more times than he can even count or fathom or bring himself to think about. Some days he wishes that the snake Sannin would just kill him, but Sasuke is aware that he's only here because Orochimaru desires his body, in every possible way that one can be desired. When he's honest he's able to admit that he utterly, all encompassingly _hates_ himself for ignoring Kakashi's admonishings to be patient, Sakura's pleadings to him that the path he was taking was not the way, Naruto's warnings of the Sannin's real intentions.

Naruto.

Sasuke remembers his dream, Naruto touching him, so gentle and warm, and he begins to pull against Kabuto. He can't let this happen; he needs to get away. Oh gods, he needs to get away.

"What is wrong with you? Stop this immediately."

Kabuto tugs his arm, his hair, and Sasuke stops struggling. Reminds himself that he chose this- no one forced him on this crooked, deadly path. The consequences are his and his alone, the consequences that bring him to Orochimaru's door.

Inside, the snake Sannin is relaxed on his bed, wearing only pants; Sasuke can see the outline of his hardness and wonders if the man has been touching himself or if just the thoughts of what he's soon going to be doing is enough.

"My Sasuke," he hisses. "My dear, beautiful boy. How wonderful for you to show up like this, exposed for me already."

Sasuke shrinks against the door, into himself. He may be taller than before but all the baby fat he still carried when he arrived in the sound village is only a memory now- this new form he possesses is nothing but bone with a bit of wiry muscle wrapped around it; his face is whiter than should even be possible and slightly gaunt, making his large black eyes look impossibly bigger than they actually are. Frail- he knows he looks frail and that the sick snake of a man likes it.

"Touch him, Kabuto. Show what you've achieved for me."

"Yes, my lord." In one motion, Kabuto rips away the soaked cloth that Sasuke has been using to cover himself, wrapping his hand around the boy's half hardness and stroking firmly, his fingers sliding over the slick flesh; liquid drips onto the tops of Sasuke's feet and he cringes.

"Amazing, my most loyal servant, well done, as I expected of you. You may leave us now."

"Yes, my lord." The medic bows and steps back from the room, wiping his wet hand down Sasuke's spine right before he leaves , one final insult that makes the naked Uchiha twitch.

Once Kabuto is gone, Orochimaru rises to his feet and approaches the shivering boy still pressed into the door as if with enough effort he can pass through it. "My beautiful vessel... How does it feel, so wet and sensitive?" The man pets Sasuke's hair, the inky strands usually soft as silk now clumped together with sweat. His already thin lips flattening into a line, he lays the back of his hand against the boy's forehead, almost flinching away from the burning skin. "It appears a high fever is a side effect of this particular drug. No matter; I chose you because you're strong enough to handle discomfort. How do you feel here?"

He grabs between the boy's legs; Sasuke can't help but thrust into his hand.

"I... It hurts."

"Oh, tsk tsk tsk, poor boy," Orochimaru clicks his tongue as he begins to stroke, softly at first, then picking up the pace as his entire hand grows slippery, fluid dripping from his wrist. His stops to lift his fingers to his mouth to taste, disgustingly long tongue lapping up every drop of salty liquid, then returns to the task at hand.

Sasuke feels like he's on fire, everywhere, but especially between his legs... The closer he gets to release the more his penis hurts, his testicles feel so full that they might burst and when he finally does cum he bites half through his lip to keep from loadly moaning, his legs almost giving way beneath him. When he opens them again, several moments later the orgasm still hasn't ridden itself out, semen still oozing out of him; he's starting to feel both dizzy and incredibly thirsty.

Because of the mess, Orochimaru decides to take him on the floor, using Sasuke's fluids to slick his own cock as he positions himself at the boy's entrance. Sliding a finger inside reveals that he's still torn and bleeding from the night before but to Orochimaru that's an unfortunate irrelevance, as is the fact that the boy can barely even hold himself up on his shaking arms. Licking his lips in anticipation, he grips the trembling Uchiha's hip bones, nails digging bloody half moons into flushed skin as he shoves himself inside all the way to the hilt in a single cruel movement, the boy's agonized groan prompting him to begin thrusting at a brutal pace.

"No... Ahhh... Not so..." Sasuke pleads; not for the first time he feels like he's going to die. Dehydration is causing his vision to blur-his tongue is a dry sponge in his mouth- and he feels as if he's being torn in half. With all the wetness he can't tell what's blood and what's cum; the floor quickly goes slick and his weak arms slip out from under him, causing the side of his face to smash into the stone floor. Orochimaru merely adjusts his own body and lifts Sasuke's hips, continuing to slam into the tight ring of muscle both tensing and tearing around him.

"So deliciously perfect," Sasuke hears a far off voice say. "And you belong to me."

At some point the pain causes him to pass out but there's no mercy to keep him under and he comes to when his body is invaded for what he assumes is the second round. He's on his side, Orochimaru curled into him from behind, thrusting into ripped flesh and Sasuke manages a few seconds of frantic gasping and clawing at the stone beneath him before he begins falling into darkness again. The unconsciousness is welcome though. He wouldn't trade it for anything.

/

When he awakes for the third time he's dressed in a black yukata (Orochimaru's he assumes) untied, the cotton fabric so thinly woven it's almost see through and barely offers any warmth but he's so incredibly thankful to be clothed. Curious, he reaches between his legs to grab his penis, ignoring the cut that's finally scabbed over to glide his thumb across the head, almost crying with joy when he feels no wetness, only warm, dry, if sticky skin.

The yukata, though, is absolutely filthy; the front from the portion that covers his chest and all the way to his thighs is completely soaked with blood, semen and pre-ejaculate, crusted dry in some areas and sticky in others where thick globs of cum previously landed. If the sight wasn't bad enough, the smell is overwhelming to the point of making him gag; when he shifts his body he realizes that the back of the yukata is wet as well-a mixture of the same, he assumes. A grimace of pain works it's way through the look of disgust on his face.

"Yes, the drug wore off rather quickly." Orochimaru's voice makes him jump and he curses himself for not noticing his master's presence, injured or not. "But the effects were not sustainable so I suppose it's for the best. I had to have Kabuto administer an IV once I was finished with you."

Sasuke looks at his right hand to find it wrapped in bloody bandages- of course Kabuto would botch the IV on purpose; his hand throbs where the veins were blown out. He tries to sit up but Orochimaru places a hand in the middle of his chest, keeping him down.

"It's best if you stay in my bed tonight, so that I might keep an eye on you."

Sasuke frowns; he knows he's going to be naked and bent over again as soon as the sun comes up, but that concern leaves his mind when he sees the snake pick up a large cup of water. He reaches for it, then draws back. _What if it's poisoned? What's if it's just more of that terrible drug?_

Orochimaru seems to read his thoughts. "No poison, my boy. Only water and a little something to help you sleep."

For Sasuke, that's enough. He takes the cup and drinks desperately. He can detect a slightly bitter aftertaste but ignores it until he's passing the cup back and dizziness washes over him like a wave crashing on a rocky shore. Cold, thin lips find his own, but the kiss is brief and chaste.

"Sleep, dear boy. Sleep."

/ _Sasuke finds Naruto in a different section of the Konoha Forest this time, sitting in the bright green grass near a pond sized pool of clean fresh water fed by a slow moving stream. At the sound of approaching footsteps, Naruto looks up; the smile when he sees that it's Sasuke walking towards him stretching from ear to ear across his handsome, whisker marked face, and causing his blue eyes to sparkle brighter than then sun-kissed pond._

_"You kept your promise," he says, rising to his feet. His familiar raspy voice is beautiful as music to Sasuke right now, soothing like the pitter-patter of heavy rain on a hot, dry day. "I didn't think I'd see you again so soon."_

_"Should I have waited?" Sasuke asks and hesitates, slowing his walk towards the other ninja. "I know it hasn't been long."_

_"No," Naruto replies. "To be honest, any amount of time that you're gone feels too long."_

_"Hn," Sasuke feels a warm blush begin to turn his cheeks pink and decides he may as well admit. "Missed you too, dobe. Why are you here anyway?"_

_"It's hot," Naruto says. "And I thought you might want to get clean after what happened."_

_"How do you..." The black haired boy starts and then realizes that his feet are bare and he's been leaving bloody footsteps, that the yukata he's holding closed in the front is torn, soaked and encrusted with body fluids and haphazardly draped over his thin frame._

_"Sasuke, I can't keep seeing you being raped every single night," the blonde says, his voice almost a whisper._

_"No one is asking you to see it! It's none of your business anyway!" Sasuke shouts._

_"I don't have a choice what I see. I'm in your head and you keep moving me closer and closer to the front!"_

_Sasuke flinches; he wants to ask more about that but mostly he wants to say something to make this alright- he didn't mean to hurt Naruto- this version of Naruto that exists in his head. He didn't even know he was there until a day ago. "I... I'm sorry."_

_The blonde looks guilty for yelling-his face has always been a reflection of his heart- and he slowly approaches his friend to touch the side of his face the way he did before. "No, I'm sorry teme. I know you're just trying to cope. And since I can't protect you, I can at least do everything I can to make you feel safe now."_

_The next thing Sasuke knows he's being embraced by lithely muscular arms. The feeling of being so tendlerly held brings back memories of the soft gentleness of his mother and causes a painful lump to rise in his throat, makes him want to sob but with some effort he manages to hold it back, wraps his own pale limb (the one not grasping his yukata) around his former teammate. Suddenly lips are on his own, gentle, so soft, just like he remembers- but it isn't an accident this time. It's purposeful. It's right. The kiss only lasts a few seconds before Naruto pulls away, his blue eyes no longer holding any of the anger or pain that filled them before._

_"This isn't real, is it?" The Uchiha asks, fearing the answer when the blonde's face again expresses a touch of sadness._

_"'No, but it will be, when you come home for good."_

_"How do you know that?" Sasuke asks. "Especially since my mind created you... How do you know that the real Naruto will feel this way?"_

_"Because you know him, me. This isn't your perfect ideal fantasy, Sasuke. Orochimaru is still raping you and you're still bleeding and bruised and skinny as hell. I still got angry and yelled at you. And I still love you, teme. You know that, so I know that. The real me will figure it out too if I somehow don't already know."_

_"I hope so." Sasuke says, almost managing a smirk. "No way I'm getting on my knees to confess."_

_"Hmmhmm," Naruto hums a laugh, hand going up behind his head. " That's so not you I can't even picture it. You didn't even say you love me back a second ago."_

_"Usuratonkachi, you know I do."_

_"Yeah," the younger boy gives a knowing smile, gesturing with his head towards the water. "We should get you cleaned up now. Is that ok?"_

_Sasuke nods, desperate to be out of the yukata: he's thankful when the fabric is pushed from his shoulders, the filthy garment landing at his feet and for some reason his nudity brings him no shame. Naruto is already out of his jacket and sandals, wearing only his pants and a mesh t-shirt that shows of the strength and definition of his chest, though his figure remains slender. Not quite a boy, still not yet a man- gorgeous. He was always cute when he was a kid but now, now looking at him for too long makes Sasuke forget to breathe. He feels embarrassed, like he shouldn't be looking at his friend this way despite what just happened a moment ago. Even more so, he feels guilty for imagining Naruto as having completely forgiven the heinous atrocities Sasuke committed against him a little over a year ago. He knows he deserves to be yelled at, spat upon, his weakened state taken advantage of to beat him senseless and leave him for dead the way he left Naruto, even if this is only a dream. He has to tear his eyes away, focusing on the water, on his inhales and exhales as he listens to his companion rustling out of the remainder of his clothing._

_Sasuke plunges himself into the pond, going completely under until even his hair is beneath the surface before opening is eyes. Surprisingly the water is crystal clear and doesn't sting, doesn't feel like anything and it hides the tears he realizes he can no longer hold back. He's utterly conscious-stricken, the shame as suffocating as the water and he realizes, lungs burning for oxygen, that he deserves everything that's happening, everything Orochimaru does to him, that if it's not going to be the way to achieve vengeance for his clan it will be how he does his penance for going about getting vengeance the wrong way, for letting jealousy get the best of him, for trying to kill his only true friend who never caused him any harm. Distraught, he stays down until Naruto jumps in and pulls him up. Gasping for breath he clings to the blonde boy, fighting to get out the words he needs to say._

_"I... I'm sorry. For everything, all of it."_

_"I know that," Naruto replies. "At least I assume that's why you pulled me out of your thoughts and into your dreams."_

_Sasuke doesn't respond -he thinks of everything and somehow he didn't think of that- but he let's go of Naruto, tossing his head to get his wet bangs out of his eyes._

_"Damn it, teme!" Naruto yells, instantly changing the mood by splashing his friend in return for the droplets that landed on his face._

_"Tch, dobe," Sasuke splashes back. Desides to let the bad feelings go; he can deal with them in real life. So for now he smirks, "You're such a moron."_ _He wonders if he actually has to wake up, if he could just stay here instead with his projection of Naruto. Maybe he could bring some other people up, the rest of team seven maybe, some others whose presence would make this dream world feel more real. But, he realizes he'd be fine if it was just him and Naruto. Him with Naruto. He realizes he's stopped splashing and started frowning when the blonde boy gives him a curious but concerned look._

_"What's wrong now, Sasuke?"_

_"I was just thinking- there's no revenge here. No Itachi. No Orochimaru, well just the damage he leaves on me. But no large scale suffering, right?"_

_"Not unless you want there to be."_

_"I don't," Sasuke says, realizes. "I think I'm ok with it just being you."_

_This time he kisses Naruto first, grabbing a gentle fistful of messy blonde hair, feeling the other boy press into the kiss- soft lips and mirrored desire. Whatever this means, whether it even has to mean anything he doesn't care. This his rival but also his lifeline-the person with whom he has a bond that cannot even be broken, despite how hard he tried to do so. Deepening the kiss, tongue sliding past Naruto's parted lips to dance alongside his own, Sasuke feels forgiven, feels needed, feels loved. He decides that he'd be happy to let the real world go in exchange for this; he knows that he's not thinking straight and he doesn't care. Despite that this is only an illusion, a beautiful rendering of himself and his best friend, Sasuke thinks he'd like to die for this, to just have this._

_"No way, you bastard," Naruto whispers against Sasuke's mouth, kissing him softly between every other, then every third word. "If you go, I go too."_

_"You'd literally die because me?" Sasuke has to try not to scoff, settles for pulling away and raising an eyebrow but Naruto moves through the water towards him, against him again, this time not stopping until their bodies are flush against each other's, chests touching. It's his turn to grab the other boy's hair and he buries tan fingers in the thick black strands, tugging gently until Sasuke's forehead meets his own._

_"With you," he corrects. "Everything, with you," and kisses him again._

_/_

_Thousands of miles away in the Land of Wind, curled on his side on a lumpy futon next to Jiraiya the Toad Sage, Naruto Uzumaki's lips twitch into a smile as he sleeps. In his dream he's with Sasuke again, both in waist deep water, their naked bodies pulled close together but here his friend doesn't pull away as Naruto speaks soft, comforting words against his lips, then gently kisses him in a way that's both familiar and new. "_

_Always with you," he finishes with, knowing that even though he's dreaming he means every word and he smiles when Sasuke replies,_

_"Always then, dobe."_

_Always. It's a beautiful thought: of a bright and happy future where Sasuke stands in front of him for real and kisses him because he means to and everything is right in the world. For now though, in the pain and uncertainty of these weary, worry filled days, he has his dreams. Dreams where Sasuke comes to him, tells him "Always," lets Naruto lean in until their lips meet, sweet and gentle and full of a love that even in secret was forever there and forever will be._


End file.
